DREAM REBORN

I love to read.  Have I mentioned that?  I often read fiction.  I don't usually read non-fiction. Sometimes, if I can read it fast and don't have to take my time with it. 

I have heard good reports about this book.  At first, I wasn't interested.  A lot of non-fiction books that I pick up are dry and boring within the first couple of chapters.  The more I learned about Kisses From Katie , the more I wanted to read it.  I kept my eye on it at the Christian bookstore, waiting for it to go on sale.  Just in case.  On Black Friday, I walked into the store, and there it was, on sale, staring me in the face and calling my name. So, I bought it.  When I got home, I placed it in my pile of unread books.  

Recently, I picked it up and started to read it.  I'm not finished with it yet (I'm only on the sixth chapter).  However, from the very first chapter, I am hooked.  This book is giving me hope. 

Hope that had died.  Hope that I had given up.  Hope that is now being resurrected and causing me to wonder what the Lord has in store for me.

Let me explain. . . 

Ever since I knew what adoption was, I was intrigued by it. The Lord planted a seed in my young heart.  From time to time, growing up, I considered having my own child (once I was married, which hasn't happened).  Always, I wanted to adopt.  Gradually, the desire to have my own natural child died.  Gradually, the desire to adopt someone else's child grew.  I became fascinated with it.  I was drawn to stories and movies about adoption.  As I became an adult, the desire never left.  

I had given up adoption and marriage only a few months ago.  Until this book.  

As I read the pages quickly turning into chapters, hope sprang up in me.  

Maybe, just maybe, the Lord is calling me to adopt.  Without being married.  

Now, I probably will not go to a foreign country, like Katie, but maybe the Lord is going to use me.  Maybe He is about to give me the desires of my heart; adopting a child.

Now, there is just one problem.  I do not live on my own yet.  I cannot afford to support myself just yet.  Every time I think I'm getting there, something major happens, and I have to start all over.  

Recently, I have been feeling led to change careers.  To look for a higher paying job with benefits.  To return to school, even though it will be training classes for adults.  To keep buying things to move out with.  To prepare.

My dream is reborn.  And, instead of choosing the child I would like to adopt, I will be open to whoever the Lord has in mind for me.  Newborn all the way up to 17 years old.  I will no longer limit God.  I will be His vessel, His servant.  

Along with this hope and dream comes excitement.  Excitement of what awaits me.  Excitement of how Jesus is going to use me.

Thank You, Jesus, for resurrecting my dreams, my hopes.  Use me and lead me.