I realized the other day that my blog is called one woman's faith journey. How can I share my journey if I don't share everything? I seem to focus on things that will uplift others rather than sharing everything. I will share something that I struggle with when things get hard. Doubt. Have you ever been there? No matter how 'mature' I become in the faith, there will be times when I doubt.
A few months ago, I stood before two roads. I stayed in one place, praying and listening. When I thought He had answered, I walked onto one road. I'll choose the road on the right for this story. At first, everything goes right. I am confident this road is the correct one, the one the Lord has led me onto. The path is smooth; the way is clear. Everything is bright and new. Life is full of hope and promise.
After a while, though, the path becomes rocky. This is where I have been for the past few days. The way is cloudy. And I wonder if this is truly the correct path. Doubts linger. Have I gone ahead of Jesus? Was I wrong to where He was leading me?
Right now, I am in a new job and a new career. I have the education but not the training. I knew this where the Lord wanted me to be. The feeling grew as I applied for jobs, got a few interviews, and finally accepted a position. The faith that this was in God's will is starting to fade. Doubt is creeping in. What if I was wrong?
Sometimes it is hard to discern God's will. A choice remains for me. Do I continue or do I quit? What if this rough patch is only a test? Will I give up just because this period of time is rough?
I have to pause and remember everything the Lord has brought me through. I have to remember His promises, His reassurances. I have to remember Him. I have to seek Him during this time of doubt. And only, then, will His will become clear and my faith increased once more.
