DOUBTING

I realized the other day that my blog is called one woman's faith journey.  How can I share my journey if I don't share everything?  I seem to focus on things that will uplift others rather than sharing everything.  I will share something that I struggle with when things get hard.  Doubt.  Have you ever been there?  No matter how 'mature' I become in the faith, there will be times when I doubt.

A few months ago, I stood before two roads.  I stayed in one place, praying and listening.  When I thought He had answered, I walked onto one road.  I'll choose the road on the right for this story.  At first, everything goes right.  I am confident this road is the correct one, the one the Lord has led me onto.  The path is smooth; the way is clear.  Everything is bright and new.  Life is full of hope and promise.

After a while, though, the path becomes rocky.  This is where I have been for the past few days.  The way is cloudy.  And I wonder if this is truly the correct path.  Doubts linger.  Have I gone ahead of Jesus?  Was I wrong to where He was leading me?

Right now, I am in a new job and a new career.  I have the education but not the training.  I knew this where the Lord wanted me to be.  The feeling grew as I applied for jobs, got a few interviews, and finally accepted a position.  The faith that this was in God's will is starting to fade.  Doubt is creeping in.  What if I was wrong?

Sometimes it is hard to discern God's will.  A choice remains for me.  Do I continue or do I quit?  What if this rough patch is only a test?  Will I give up just because this period of time is rough?

I have to pause and remember everything the Lord has brought me through.  I have to remember His promises, His reassurances.  I have to remember Him.  I  have to seek Him during this time of doubt.  And only, then, will His will become clear and my faith increased once more.