ETC. MEANS. . . A TOILET!

Last year, I sent a huge birthday gift to Anabell, my sponsored child in Honduras.  She was celebrating her quinceanera.  For those who don't know, a quinceanera (I hope I spelled it right) is the girl's fifteenth birthday in most Central and South America countries.  It is a passing from childhood into adulthood.  It's kind of like the 16th birthday in America, but on a much bigger scale.

I wanted to provide Anabell a birthday celebration.  It was the only thing I could pray for, think of, and prepare for.  For an entire year, I set aside a certain amount of money every time I got paid.  At the end of the year, I was able to send the gift to her.  So determined was I that she celebrate her birthday in the tradition of her culture that I specified the gift be used for her quinceanera.  Compassion told me they would do their best to ensure the gift be used for it, but they couldn't promise me.
 
Once I sent the gift, I finally yielded it to the Lord.  Even though I wanted Anabell to receive a birthday party, I contented myself with the fact that it might be used for something else.

A few months ago, I received a letter from Anabell.  It also included a picture.  I was thrilled when I saw the picture.  It is the first one I have of her smile!  I am still pretty excited about it.  However, whenever I look at her picture, I laugh.  Or, on an extremely bad day, I will at least smile.  Why?  It is what she wrote and what the picture told me.

I wish I had a scanner, for I would post the  picture.  Maybe one day, I will.  For now, I will describe it to the best of my ability.

Her letter stated, "Thank you for the gift you sent me.  I bought 3 pants, 4 shirts, 3 shoes, ETC."  How like a teenage girl to list clothes!
 
Then I studied the picture and had to reread the letter again.  Anabell had a bright pink shirt on and dark pants with black shoes (loafers or dress shoes, I can't tell).  She is smiling softly while holding the rest of her clothes. Anabell is standing in front of huge dirt pile.  My precious teenage girl is standing beside a brand new, white toilet.  The toilet still has the white plastic over its lid.  Beside the toilet is a cardboard box filled with a white trashcan and white toilet bowl brush and holder.  Maybe she, her mother, and twin sister likes to color coordinate?
  
Have I mentioned that I would love to meet this girl?  Her letters always make me laugh, and this is no different.  In fact, everytime I hear ETC, I laugh and think about a toilet.

CHANGES FOR ME

Okay, I can't believe it's been a couple months since I blogged.  Of course, Christmas is usually busy and hectic.  And then I have to continue my school work.  I haven't been writing devotionals recently, either.  Though I have attempted one this week.  My school is currently still on Christmas break, and I am catching up on things that I used to do before I began school.  I am still studying, but it is more of a review of what I have learned.  I have to do something school related.  Otherwise, it will be even harder to get back into the routine.
I believe 2014 is going to be the year of change for me.  I graduate April 6.  It is just getting to be a reality for me.  Can I help it if I am getting excited and am counting down the months?  The great thing about the school is that they help with career placement.  I think I am more excited about going through that than I am about graduating!
For those who know me personally know that I work with children.  These past few months have really been hard financially, as I am now part time.  However, I am not complaining, because I am devoting more time for school.  Jesus has His hand on my life, and I am depending on Him for my every need.
I have been in day care for 13 years this month (January).  That is a long time to devote my life to one career.  I love children.  I always have. Children are precious and fun and so much joy.  However, for the past few years, I have felt my passion for child care waning.  I knew that the Lord was calling me to something else.  I just didn't know what.
Then the online school happened one day when I was off sick.  I was applying for jobs, and clicked the box that said I'd be interested in career training and educational opportunities.  The school called a few minutes later.  It all happened so quickly, but I have felt the Lord's hand in it every single moment.  I prayed about it as the guy was talking.  My words?  "Lord, I need an answer.  NOW, please!  Because everything in me wants to do this!"  The more I learned about the school, the more I felt the Lord.  He wanted me in school, and He wanted me in this one.
I know the time in day care is coming to a close.  I am relieved, but I am also sad.  I will miss the children.  My last day will be with great sadness but also with great joy and excitement.  I am sure that I will be crying the whole time.  Not because I don't want to leave, but because the grieving will come.  I will be saying goodbye to a career that I have enjoyed and loved for so many years.
I am fearful that just maybe, I won't be able to find a job and that the time with the career placement will come to a close.  The part time is only until the end of the school year, and I may not be working through the summer.  If I allow it, the fear will conquer me and paralyze me.  I will most likely suffer a panic attack.  When I feel anxious about the future, I have to remind myself Who is in control of my life.  It's not me!  If it was, I'd be accepting the first job that came along.  Jesus has never once left me in need, and He will continue to provide for me.  When I stop to remember that Jesus has my back, and I seek His presence, then I am filled with peace and joy once again.
I know I have said it before, but I will say it again.  My time with the kids is ending quickly.  I am excited about this new stage in my life.  For one, I will be moving.  Second, I will be going through the process of adopting a child through the Foster to Adopt program.  God will not let me alone about adoption.  I know He has the perfect son or daughter for me.  Have I mentioned that I would like a son first, and then a daughter?  The Lord has promised me a child, and I know He will fulfill His promises.  In fact, every day, I am more convinced that He is about to move. Even if I don't adopt a child right after I get approved, at least I will be ready.  God has prepared me for this next move, and He will continue to work in my life now, tomorrow, and in the future.

If I may ask, please pray for me.  I need all the prayer that I can get.  I need His guidance and His peace.

SO BEHIND!

I used to be so good at keeping up with writing to my kids.  Now, since I've been in school, I just don't have much time to respond to letters.  I am finding that emailing a response is much quicker than hand writing a letter.  I hope my kids understand why I am so late in writing to them, and that they are not disappointed with finding no little goodies in the envelope.  It's been a couple weeks, and I now have six letters to respond to.
I also am having a hard time emailing them once a month.  I can't believe it'll be almost December, and I still don't have anything to write about.  Maybe I should take a break from writing them, but then, I feel guilty about missing a month.  And I just can't miss a month.  I keep seeing Kajal's words in my mind; "I look forward to your letters every month."  I can't disappoint them.  I may delay responding to their letters, but I have to keep my monthly letters.  Here are just a few highlights from the letters that I have to respond to:

Guian Carlos in Peru:  I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was 13.  I tell you that at Christmas time I decorate my house and I also set up a Christmas tree and I listen to Christmas carols.

Praise God that he is a Christian!  His Christmas traditions sound a lot like America's, doesn't it?

Kajal in Bangladesh: When I am sick our teachers and madam take me to doctor for treatment.

I am so glad that Compassion takes such good care of our children!

Samuel in Kenya: Samuel says that he loves Jesus and he asks whether you love Him too?  He says he prays all the time for you.

Another one who loves Jesus!  I just love it!

Peace in Rwanda:  I love you so much and am happy with you.

Aw!  So sweet!  She is definitely beginning to open up.

Mickelene in Haiti; I sing very often in a group that is called United Hearts.  I don't sing in solo.  Do you used to sing in a group as well?

I'm glad she is active in her church.  People would not pay to hear me sing;  in fact, they would pay NOT to hear me sing!  Sorry, Mickelene!

CARLOS' FRIENDS

I always enjoy learning about my kids' lives, families, and friends.  Carlos, the cutest little boy in El Salvador, wrote me a letter telling me about his friends.

Who is your best friend?  Kevin and Lucas

How old is your best friend?  7 and 8 years old

For how long do you know your best friend?  3 years (about the same amount of time that I have been writing to him)

Where did you meet your best friend?  My school

What grade is your best friend in?  2nd

What do you like to play with your best friend?  Play tag

Who does your best friend live with?  Mother and Father

Hi, I'm very happy to write to you, I play soccer at the CDI, I'm now able to add the numbers.  My best friends' names are Kevin and Lucas, they live with their mom.  I always ask for all your prayers and your letters.  God bless you and take good care of yourself.  Your friend that loves you very much, Carlos.

Carlos drew me a very cute picture of his friend/s playing soccer.  I'm not sure if the two boys are him and a friend, or if they are both of his friends.

I TOLD MY KIDS ABOUT MY BRAIN DAMAGE

A while ago, I wrote to my children about my brain damage and the effects it has on me.  I am just now receiving letters talking about that very letter.  The sweetest one I received last month from Daneisi, my newest correspondent in the Dominican Republic.  It was also my first letter from her.  Yesterday, I received a letter from Anabell, my now 15 year-old girl in Honduras.

Here is what is Daneisi's letter:

God bless you more!  How are you and your family?  As you have told me in the letters about your disabilities buy you know, sometimes I think really big is happening to me when as a fact is something very simple.  You know, I want to let you know that I am very happy that even with your disabilities you have such beautiful thinking, and you know, it does not matter what you might have, the Lord has allowed it and has given you the opportunity to be alive because He has something wonderful for you and He wants you to keep getting your goals.  I am sure God has much hope in you.  I thank you very much for trusting me and telling me about your life.  Here it is already summer and it is very hot, in a couple days I am going to the river, and i want to send you some pictures of the place as you told me you like the sea and the rivers and I want you to see some places of my country.  I will be praying for your health.  God bless you!

This still makes me cry.  I think she and I are going to be very close.  And this is just her first letter!  I haven't felt like this since I lost Fadeline (from Haiti, she left the project and wrote the longest, most informative letters) and Anongnard (from Thailand, her letters always made me smile, she even drew me a picture of a mouse on a birthday cake for my birthday; her project closed).  Those losses hurt me much worse than any of the others.  I had a special relationship with both girls.  And Daniesi is a gift from God (they all are, but this one especially).  Every time someone posted on here about Compassion needing more correspondents, I would always sign up for one more.  Each time, I prayed for a girl.  Each time, I got a boy.  Until Daniesi.  When I saw her, I knew she was the one I was praying for.  And, strangely, I have no desire to add any more.  I wonder if my family is complete.

Okay, onto Anabell's letter (have I mentioned I love this girl?):

Hello, appreciable sponsor (love that, by the way!)

I'm very happy to write you.  I have received all your letters and gifts that you have sent me and I like them very much. Thank you for being such a special friend.  I'm fine and I keep working very hard in my studies.  My family is also well and happy.  I think that Christmas is a very special time to share with the family and that is what we do.  Early in July I had a week off from school and I spent time with my mom because I only live with her and my sister. I didn't meet my father. I like to attend church because I learn many nice things and I also share with my friends.  I have never seen the snow, but I hope that one day I will be able to watch fall in the United States.  I have heard from your country and it is a developed country with big cities and that it is very pretty, maybe you want to tell me more about it.  I will pray for you.  I think of not as a disabled person but as somebody with special abilities.  I imagine that it must be difficult everything you are going through, but if God has not left you until now, I'm sure that He never will.  I hope that you pray for me and my country.  Honduras is a beautiful country but with lots of problems and only God can set us free.  Give my regards to your family.

Oh, my goodness, I just love that girl!  Just like Daneisi, Anabell and I have a special connection. I was meant to be her sponsor. 

STRUGGLING TO ENDURE

STRUGGLING TO ENDURE

Philippians 3:14

I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus.

I do not have endurance.  When things get too hard, I tend to quit.  However, God is building endurance in me.  I have learned to endure through financial struggles, emotional healing, and through physical pain.  I must develop endurance to survive this life.

One of the hardest things to do is returning to school as an adult.  During this time of my life, I am sometimes tempted to give up.  I simply cannot succeed in school.  At least, not by my standards.  My grades prove otherwise.  However, I am committed to finishing it.

I keep in mind my goal, that this is what the Lord has called me to do.  I want to be in His will.  He is guiding me, and He will continue to sustain me.  Everything He has promised will one day (pretty soon I hope) come true.

I am going where He leads me.  And, one day, I will gain the prize that the Lord has promised me.

Are there times you feel like giving up?  Keep your eyes on the prize, the promise Jesus has given you.

Lord, sometimes I feel like giving up.  Sometimes, it is just too hard to continue.  Lord, fill me with Your assurance.  Lead me and sustain me.  In Your  name, Amen

A LETTER FROM USANASE

Usanase is a new correspondent. He lives in Rwanda.  He will be 16 in November.  Usanase, who I call Fil (his last name is Fils), was assigned to me about a year ago.  This is the fourth or fifth letter that I have received from him.

His letter:

To my parent that I love so much and I wish the love of God to be with you.  I'm fine.  We have now started third term that ends the year.  I study in Senior two, in o'level (not sure what this means).  I like playing piano and guitar.  I received Christ as my Savior on 14/07/2012 (months before I was assigned to him).  How is you and your family?  I wish to see you face to face.  May you send me your photo.  Thank you!  May God bless you.  I thank you first for the letter you sent to me and we have continued to pray for you on the problems that you had and happy for the marks that you got (I've been keeping my kids up to date on my grades in school), it will give you a good job.  Psalms 97:10 and Jeremiah 31:10.  I love these verses so much.